IT'S SUNDAY MORNING, AND I HAVE HAD AN INTERESTING WEEK.  MY SISTER SHEILA, FRFOM ARIZONA, HAS BEEN HERE VISITING AND THIS BEING HER THIRD VISIT IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS I AM REMINDED AGAIN HOW IMPORTANT FAMILY TIES ARE.  SHEILA AND I WERE ALWAYS GOOD FRIENDS, WHEN I NEEDED A PLACE TO LIVE SHE ND HER HUSBAND VICTOR OPENED THEIR HOME TO ME, A WONDERFUL AND GENEROUS THING FOR THEM TO DO.  DURING MY STAY WITH THEM IN NORTH CAROLINA WHEN I WS 50 YEARS OLD, I WENT BACK TO SCHOOL FOR NURSING.  I THOUGHT I WAS TOO OLD, AND IN SOME WAYS I WAS, BUT IT WAS A CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT IN MY LIFE.   NURSING IS ALL THAT I EVER WANTED TO DO, ACCOMPLISHING A LIFE LONG DREAM WAS VERY EMPOWERING FOR ME.  IT WAS DURING A VERY HARD TIME IN MY LIFE, WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMED TO BE FALLING APART.  WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE.  GOING BACK TO SCHOOL AND ACHIEVING MY GOAL OPENED NEW DOORS FOR ME AND TURNED MY LIFE AROUND.  USE EVERY OPPORTUNITY PRESENTEDD TO YOU TO MOVE FORWARD, DON'T WASTE ANY TIME.  LIFE IS DEFINITELY TO SHORT.  REMEMBER,    IT IS WHAT IT IS.     ANN

JANARY 9, 2012 MONDAY
IT WAS A QUIET WEEKEND, BUT I HAD A NICE VISIT WITH MY DAUGHTER AMY AND ANOTHER WITH MY DAUGHTER BETH AND MY GRANDSON MATT.  IT IS ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO VISIT WITH THEM AND HEAR ALL ABOUT THEIR ACTIVITIES AND WHAT'S GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES.  AT THE MOMENT I CANNOT GO TO THEIR HOUSE AS I CANNOT MANAGE THE STAIRS AND THE WASHROOM HAS TO BE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.  SO THEY COME TO VISIT ME.   I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING TO TORONTO SOMETIME SOON FOR THE DAY.  MY SISTER SHEILA IS COMING FROM ARIZONA NEXT WEEK TO SPEND A WEEK WITH ME.  IT IS HARD TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH THESE VISITS MEAN TO ME, SHEILA AND I SHARED SO MUCH WHEN WE WERE SMALL, AND LUCKY US THAT CLOSENESS CONTINUES TODAY.  I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO STARTING ART THERAPY TODAY.  I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT WE WILL DO, BUT I AM SURE IT WILL BE FUN.  I DO MUSIC THERAPY ON FRIDAYS AND IT IS MAGNIFICIENT HOW THE MUSIC CAN TAKE ME RIGHT OUT OF MY BODY AND LIFT ME ABOVE ALL THE TROUBLES.  WHEN YOU ARE TROUBLED OR WORRIED, TRY PUTTING ON SOME MUSIC THAT YOU LOVE, SIT BACK AND RELAX AND LISTEN, IT WILL SOOTHE YOU AND HELP MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD.  I WORK WITH A WONDERFUL MUSIC THERAPIST, WHO HAS THE ABILITY TO BRING UP THE EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS AT THE TIME SO THAT I CAN SEE THEM AND LET THEM GO.  SHE SINGS LIKE AN ANGEL.  IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT.  TRY IT---ANN

WELL IT'S TUESDAY EVENING AND MY DAUGHTER BETH JUST BROUGHT ME A NEW PAIR OF SLIPPERS, THEY ARE BLUE STRIPE AND I LOVE THEM. WE HADA CHANCE TO CHAT A WHILE BEFORE SHE HAD TO GET HOME FOR DINNER.  WHENEVER I SPEND TIME WITH MY KIDS, I REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD THINGS WE USED TO DO.  ALL THE SLEPPOVERS, THEATRE PICNICS AND FUN THINGS.  I REALIZE NOW HOW PRECIOUS THESE TIMES WERE.  WE TEND TO TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED BUT THEY ARE SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT TIMES WE WILL EVER HAVE.  SHARING, CARING OPENS YOUR HEART TO FEELING THE LOVE OF THE UNIVERSE FLOWING THROUGH YOU.  I M VERY LUCKY AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE TOBE ABLE TO REFLECT BACK ON MY LIFE, CHOICES I MADE AND BEING ABLE TO SET THINGS RIGHT THAT WEREN'T.  I HAVE SOME REGRETS BUT  NOT A LOT.  I KNOW THAT EVERY CHOICE YOU MAKE IS THE RIGHT ONE FOR YOU AT THE TIME.  I HAVE LEARNED IT IS NOT HELPFUL TO SPEND TIME LOOKING BACKWARDS, YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE PAST AND THE FUTURE IS UP FOR GRABS, THE ONLY THING WE HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER IS TODAY.  TAKE TIME TO REFLECT ON YOUR LIFE AND CHOOSE WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU TODAY.  THEN LIVE IT.
ANN

Sunday, January 7, 2012

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY  THE SUN I SHINING AND LOOKING OUT MY WINDOW I CAN SEE THE CREEK RUNNING THROUGH THE RAVINE.  THE WATER IS SPARKLING AND IT DOESN'T LOOK MUCH LIKE WINTER. THE BIRDS ARE STILL SITTING IN THE BRANCHES AND IT IS A LOVELY SCENE.  I  APPRECIATE EVERY DAY AND NOT WASTE ONE SINGLE MOMENT OF IT.  SINCE I KNOW MY TIME IS LIMITED IN THIS LIFE, IT MAKES ME MORE GRATEFUL FOR EACH DAY.  I AM NOT AFRAID OF DYING BUT I AM AFRAID OF WASTING MY TIME.  EACH DAY I WANT TO DO SOMETHING THAT IS VALUABLE, OR USEFUL.  TODAY I THINK IT IS VERY WORTHWHILE TO APPRECIATE THE BEAUTY OF NATURE THE WONDER OF HOW THE SEASONS CHANGE AND THE BEAUTY OF EACH ONE.  HOW BLESSED I AM TO HAVE A WONDERFUL FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO CARE ABOUT ME AND THE THINGS NATURE PROVIDES US.  WE ALL NEED TO TAKE THE TIME TO REFLECT ON OUR LIVES DAY BY DAY.  WHAT CANWE DO TO BRING A SMILE TO SOMEONES FACE, REACH OUT TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS A KIND WORD.  IT WILL BRING BACK TO YOU ALL YOU GIVE AND MORE.

This is my story of my journey to the end of my life.  About 4 years ago, I was diagnosd with a serious heart condition by the Heart Function Clinic at McMaster Hospital.  The cardiologist there told me that I could live 3-5 years with this condition.  I have continued on with my life as best Ican and was referred to the Palliative care team at the hospital.  I have been under their care ever since.  The Palliative care doctor  agreed with the diagnosis I received.  My mind immediately began to search for acceptance of this.  I have no fear but certainly anxiety and wonder about what is going to happen.  I have ben fortunate to receive a lot of help from a lot of different people.  I started to attend a one day aweek hospice program at The Bob Kemp Hospice.  The wonderful Palliative caare nurse and all the many volunteers made me welcome and I met others who were struggling with the same thing as me.  There I learned the true meaning of hospice, it is not just a place where yuu go to die, but a place where you go to learn to live lthe rest of your life, in the best way possibl;le.  I learned what the possibilities were, how to make choices and help prepare my family.  With alll that, I took part in some wonderful activities, like Reiki, massage therapy, music therapy, art therapy including scrapbooking and memory boxes.   legacy writing and so much more.  It gave me a wonderful respite from being sick.  While involved in these activities, you are in the moment and live in faith, while fully enjoying the time spent.